With age, comes the wisdom of the DH
Posted on July 13, 2008
Filed Under DH, Hair | 1 Comment
Recently my mother was in town and, ever the harbinger of good news, she noticed I had hair sprouting from my ear lobes.
It was yet another in a series of moments I’ve been having lately that make me realize that I am steadily becoming my dad.
This is what I have become in my thirtysomething days …
I take my kid to a movie and I fall asleep. Upon waking up I rely on her to catch me up on the key plot points I missed, reprising the role I used to play for my father when he would sleep through a movie. My dad had a simple rating system for movies based completely on the quality of sleep he achieved during the screening. “I slept like a baby… four stars!” Horton Hears A Who may not win any Academy Awards, but I damn near went into a coma watching it so it gets Two Thumbs Up from me.
I’m even considering voting Republican this November for the first time in my life. That’s something old white guys do, not me. And in this case it would be a vote for the oldest, whitest guy around in John McCain. Something about being in a higher tax bracket, something that comes with age for most of us not selected in the NBA draft lottery, has me leaning to my right more than ever.
A former co-worker of mine, an older fellow with the gray beard to prove it, used to tell me, “You’ll learn to appreciate mornings.”
Well, I’m still waiting on that one. Could be a while.
Even my attitudes toward my favorite subject and occupation — sports — are changing. Every once in a while I’ll catch myself reaching for the stocks page first instead of the sports page. I’ve even reconsidered my lifelong distaste for the Designated Hitter: I believe I almost prefer the DH over having the pitcher bat.
My wife, an Atlanta Braves fan and staunch National League supporter, sees American League red when I openly advocate for the DH.
“Honey, there’s a reason most baseball leagues have the DH. The National League is the exception more than the norm. People don’t like watching a pitcher hit. It’s awkward and predictable.”
She gives me the death stare normally reserved for when I procrastinate on doing the dishes.
I continue on with my pro-DH rant, “With the DH, the decision to remove the pitcher is made solely on the quality of his stuff at that moment, not on when his spot in the order is due up. It’s a subtlety I’ve grown to appreciate.”
Her response: “You’re sleeping on the couch.”
As long as it means I can sleep in, that’s OK.
Diary of a Mad Man
Posted on June 22, 2008
Filed Under Fantasy, MLB | Leave a Comment
I’ve got a pitcher going.
On a pitcher’s mound somewhere within these contiguous United States, there stands a man holding so much more than just a baseball in his hand. He also carries the hopes of the random collection of major league players that — unbeknownst to any of them — constitute my fantasy baseball team and, along with them, a good deal of my self-esteem as well.
When the game starts, the world stops.
I’ve got a pitcher going.
Now, any human with an ounce of sanity knows it’s better not to watch the game live, or follow it online even. The path that a major-league pitcher has to traverse to make it in and out of a game with his fragile psyche in one piece — to speak nothing of actually winning the game — is a minefield.
Even a “Quality Start,” a phrase coined by sports agents a few years go as a way to celebrate the mediocrity of their clients, can seem more rare than a successful moon landing. Consider yourself lucky if you’ve never heard of this ridiculous contrivance. The modicum of success that is a “Quality Start,” or “QS” in geek speak, is six innings of work and three earned runs or fewer. That translates to a pedestrian ERA of 4.50. Back in the ’80s, a 4.50 ERA got you sent to Triple-A; now it’ll get you amulti-year contract and fantasy god status.
All of this aside, I usually end up watching more often than not. Every time I wonder, Why do I do this to myself? What does it say about me that I revel in this act of ritual torture? Does it betray a tinge of masochism? Why can’t I use this spare time to catch up some housework or, God forbid, read a book?
A baseball game, normally a deliberate, measured exercise of nostalgia, a tribute to America’s pastoral roots, proceeds at Warp 9 when your fantasy pitcher is on the mound. Every baserunner represents a budding rally, every 2-0 count a gopherball waiting to happen. The commercial breaks between innings offer little respite, and neither do the half-innings when your pitcher’s team is batting. Invariably, things go south faster than you can say “Joel Hanrahan.” A walk, a misplayed fly ball, a botched double play … it is during these moments that you visit some of the darkest recesses of your own mind. It’s as if the pitcher’s failings are in fact your own. Though you may be thousands of miles away, you can’t help but feel like you manifested the events on the field with your fantasy GM machinations.
What did I do to deserve that bloop hit? Why can’t any of these guys field? Where’s the damn run support?!!?
It’s hard to describe what it feels like to watch my pitcher disintegrate. It’s like going long on a stock and watching it plummet. Or selling short and watching it soar. Either way, I’m stuck with the check and there’s no way out. Though normally not religious, I can’t help but think that divine intervention is getting in the way of my success.
Why is God punishing me? What did I do to deserve this? I promise I won’t skip the blood drive at work next time!
Even when the pitcher’s outing goes well, and he puts himself in line for a victory and locks up the QS, rarely does it happen without help. Unless your name is Roy Halladay, a complete game is a mere rumor these days, a myth that has since turned to legend. Toronto’s Halladay led all major leaguers in complete games last season with seven; nobody else had more than four. (In 1977, Jim Palmer and Nolan Ryan tied for the MLB lead with 22 complete games.) That means that at some point, your pitcher is going to need somebody else to do his job well and navigate the same deadly waters as your starter for everything to turn out right.
More often than not, your pitcher craps out. I can’t help but wonder that if there is anything more painful than watching my own fantasy pitcher start, I’d have to be in a communist prison cell to find out. But I know I’ll keep coming back for more of the same self-flagellation tomorrow, if not sooner. I can ponder this forever if I want to, philosophize on what willful participation in fantasy baseball says about the human condition. But that will have to wait until later, because right now …
I’ve got a pitcher going.
Pirates bring the lumber in ‘08
Posted on June 16, 2008
Filed Under MLB, Sabermetrics | Leave a Comment
Between the cliches and tired catchphrases that pass as baseball broadcasting, I heard something the other day that made me do a triple take: The Pirates rank third in the National League in runs scored at 4.90 runs per game. These are the Pirates’ NL rankings in runs scored for the past decade:
2007: 12th
2006: 16th (last)
2005: 14th
2004: 12th (tie)
2003: 7th (yay top half!)
2002: 15th
2001: 15th
2000: 9th
1999: 12th
1998: 15th
That is one top-half finish in the past 10 years for the lowly Bucs, who have not posted a winning record since Barry Bonds wore yellow and black.
So what’s different about this season? It’s hard to tell from the NL team stats on the Baseball-Reference.com league page. The Bucs aren’t really clubbing the ball, ranking in a tie for seventh in home runs and posting an even 100 OPS+. Are they walking a lot, a-la the A’s with their impressive isolated walks total? Not really. Pittsburgh’s 231 walks heading into Tuesday’s actions are more than only five other NL teams. (Houston is way last in walks at 189, the only team below the 200 mark.)
So the Bucs must be making up for all that mediocrity by running like crazy, right? Um, no. They rank last in steals with 20. In fact they are benefitting by not running — they only have eight caught stealings, which is second-fewest.
It’s times like these we have to look at the usual culprit: luck. The Pirates are far and away the MLB leaders in Batting Average with Runnners in Scoring Position and two outs, raking at a .288 clip with 120 RBIs in such clutch situations. The Cardinals rank a distant second in the category at .275. (Full list is here.)
That kind of luck can’t hold for the Bucs, but that isn’t to say their offense will totally collapse. They’ve gotten this far with Adam LaRoche doing his usual first-half sleepwalking act (77 OPS+), and former batting champ Freddy Sanchez (.232 BA) has yet to heat up either. Nate McLouth has emerged as a legitimate star, with a massive 149 OPS+, and Jason Bay has returned to All-Star form after a terrible 2007 season. In right field, they have a nice thing going with a loose platoon of Xavier Nady and Jason Michaels, a couple of decent hitters who are better off not being overexposed.
Barring injury I wouldn’t be surprised to see this club finish in the top half of the league in runs for only the second time in a decade.
Interleague inequity
Posted on May 26, 2008
Filed Under MLB | Leave a Comment
Long the butt of many jokes and often used as Exhibit A of why interleague play is a worthless gimmick, the upcoming Sunshine Series between the first-place Florida Marlins and Tampa Bay Rays suddenly is no laughing matter.
It’s more like a reason to shed tears for the fans of both teams, who own the best records in their respective leagues as of Memorial Day. A simple three-game slate between these Peninsula Pals would be more of a cause celebre than anything else. But thanks to the bizarre interleague setup that has certain “rival” clubs play two three-game series instead of one, fans of both teams won’t be happy that the schedule could very well hurt their pennant chances.
While the Marlins have to tangle with the AL-best Rays for six games, the NL East rival Mets get to pound on the cellar-dwelling Yankees, whom they have already beaten twice. The Mets are the big winners from the interleague schedule, with only one winning team (Angels) among their four AL opponents. In addition to the two series with Tampa, the Marlins also have to deal with Oakland. Atlanta gets Oakland, the L.A. Angels and Toronto as tough interleague opponents, while the Phillies also get a tough draw with four winning teams: Jays, Red Sox, A’s and Angels.
It’s a similar bind for the Rays, who have to play four series against winning teams: the pesky Marlins (twice), Cubs and Cardinals (lost two of three already).
The Yankees, meanwhile, get only one series against a winning team: Houston.
Meanwhile, the Red Sox have to face four winning teams: Cardinals, Phillies, D’backs and Astros. The Blue Jays get three: Cubs, Phillies, Braves.
So the Big Apple teams are the big winners here, ironically enough because they get to play each other twice.
For the birds
Posted on May 19, 2008
Filed Under Birds | 1 Comment
I haven’t been to a baseball game yet this season, but that hasn’t stopped me from seeing plenty of blue jays, cardinals and orioles — sometimes all at once.
I’ve had the best seats in the house for all the action. In fact, you could say I’m in the house. Sitting in the comfort of my backyard porch, in the suburban home we just moved into after years of city living, I’ve become quite the amateur ornithologist, which is quite a feat for somebody who once thought “birdwatching” was viewing old Celtics games on ESPN Classic.
My 5-year-old daughter and I often run outside or look out the windows in hopes of catching a glimpse of an american goldfinch feeding on sunflower seeds from our birdfeeder.
The other day I saw a red-winged bird with a red-orange bill munching on our offerings. A new bird! Genuinely excited, I scrambled for my Sibley Field Guide to ID our guest. At first I thought it was a house finch, which is very common to the New Jersey area and also has red wings. The problem was the beak — the house finch doesn’t have a colored beak. Later that afternoon the mysterious guest returned, and this time it was not alone — a brilliant red northern cardinal alongside.
That made the identification rather simple: female northern cardinal. In the bird world, the males have the flashy color schemes while the females generally have simpler tones. (The boys have to look pretty for the girls, not the other way around.) Hence the male northern cardinal looks just like the logo on a St. Louis Cardinals cap while the female has only subtle streaks of red in the wing and head area, but also has the unmistakable red-orange bill that had vexed me earlier.
She had quite the ravenous appetite, this female cardinal. Sitting on the perch of my birdfeeder, she picked at one sunflower seed after another, stopping only to spit out the hallowed shells, much like Albert Pujols or Ryan Ludwick might do in the Redbirds’ dugout.
A few minutes later a blue jay swooped in with all the grace of Devon White tracking down a ball in the left-center field gap. Blue jays and cardinals in my sights. How’s that for interleague play?
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